Class is not about knowing which fork to use. It is about being the kind of person others are glad to be in the room with.
For years, Stephen and I taught the class, How to Be Classy In Spite of Yourself, in continuing education centers, corporate conference rooms, hotel ballrooms, and to non-profit organizations.
The people who attended were not told what they were doing wrong. They learned how the small things, done consistently over a career and a lifetime, are what truly make a difference.
This book is that classroom, brought to the page. The same principles. The same questions. The same quiet work of becoming the kind of person others are glad to be in the room with.
How to Be Classy, In Spite of Yourself is the course Stephen and I taught, fully realized on the page. It is organized around three dimensions of every human encounter — Appearance, Communication, and Behavior. Each section moves from principle to practice, with self-assessment pages throughout, so the work is yours and in your own words.
Please don't mistake this for an etiquette book. It isn't. Etiquette defines rules. How to Be Classy defines values — the qualities that bring confidence, happiness, and more joy to a life.
How you present yourself before you say a word. The first impression that forms before anyone says a word.
How you speak, write, and listen. The voice and words that shape every conversation you enter.
How you conduct yourself across time. The habits, choices, and small acts that define who you really are.
This book is for anyone who knows they're capable of more, but isn't quite sure how to get there. With careful guidance, in our words and questions, you'll see how possible it really is to make the changes you've been contemplating.
The book is paired with a library of printable companion worksheets and reflections, accessible in both the e-book and printed editions.
The world is constantly in flux around each of us. But there are, and always will be, underlying constants. This book addresses all of it, because genuine Class requires fluency wherever people encounter one another.
The principle never changes. The standard you hold for yourself when no one is watching. The small things, done consistently, that create the overall impression. A person with genuine Class stands out in any era. That is what we want to share with you in this book.